Slinky Nonsense

I got a Slinky for Christmas.  Here are some of the things the box said:

"Please remove all packaging material before giving the product to a child." 

It is a square cardboard box for God's sake!  A five-year-old can handle this.

"To play with Slinky in hands"
"Hold end coils of Original Slinky with both hands.  Now raise and lower each hand in a rhythmic motion."  And there is this:  "Retain packaging for future reference."

Some high-quality cautions:  "Caution: Do not use in moving vehicle.  Do not throw coils out any window.  Keep away from face and eyes."

YouTube:  How Slinkys are made: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPNt7iOjcg0

Typical Fire Escape Notice

I am morbidly puzzled why you need to politely ask people to use the stairs in a fire.

If there were a fire, and the building was collapsing around them, time is of the essence -- people don't have time to read this crap.

"Use stairs in case of fire"


Other Please Links of Interest:
My favorite memo with more pleases per square inch than any I have ever seen.  I was the victim of this very document!  Vendor Contracts.